As if I would dream of you!
by pikinanouart
Summary: Evergreen is having disturbing dreams about Elfman and she's looking for a solution before she loose her mind.  And him, in all that?  He's manly clueless!  RATED M because of obvious sexual themes and crude jokes :3


**Authors' note: **Hi everybody! Please excuse me for this random comment but: 210 was just too awesome! I can barely hold my squeals everytime i think about it! ^.^ And am I the only one that thought that chibi pissed off Levy was just too darn cute? alright, now back on the main subject, my new story, a little bit more adventurous than what i did so far, hope i still did something good. This was inspired by the events between those two in the recents chapters and I just couldn't get it out of my head. Anyway, that was a good reason to torture Evergreen, not complaining! :3

**warning: this is rated M because of obvious sexual themes and crude words/comments, if you don't like those, do not read! also i still don't own Fairy Tail**

* * *

**As if I would dream of you!**

It always started the same. The usual dreams that made no sense would be playing out in front of her but she wouldn't remember much of them. Then, the crawling sensation would begin in her guts. It would be faint, at first, but the more it would grow, the more it would move more precisely near her lower abdomen, on that spot she couldn't touch. It would crawl from that source and invade her body, along her legs to the tips of her toes, on her stomach, her breasts, her neck, all the way to her fingers. It was always warm and electric, moving in waves, sending pleasant sensations to her nerves.

In her mind, the images would then start. Strong yet gentle hands would be the ones to manipulate the crawling caresses, a body would be hovering over hers, a mouth would be kissing and nipping her neck. She would start panting, moans would escape her lips, her womanhood would start burning with desire.

At first, the man would have no face. She would feel his breath on her body, his warmth, his touches. Sometimes, she would hear him whispers, his body would have a smell, even if she would never be able to name what it smelled like. Then, her core would be stimulated, electric shocks would make her cry out in pleasure, her inner walls would tighten. The man's mouth would ravish her breasts, holding her close to his body possessively. She would grab him by the hair to keep him there. He would give her a sensual look with his dark eyes. She would then throw her head back while drowning in her ecstasy, his name would escape her lips.

Elfman.

The woman woke up in a deafening scream. Rigid as one of the statues she could create, Evergreen was holding herself up in her bed on her elbows, her legs shaking, her whole body covered by a cold sweat. She was fixing the wall in front of her with wide eyes, seeing way beyond its barrier, her breath coming in short pants through a dry throat. Only one question was resonating in her mind:

What the hell was that?

* * *

It took her a moment to recover from the after effects of the dream, her heart was slowly gaining a normal beat and her muscles were relaxing. But the feeling of dread was still holding her, leaving an unpleasant taste in the back of her throat. She just had a sex dream about the dorkiest guy there ever was, if that wasn't the creepiest way to wake up, it should be freakin close to the top.

And that was precisely why that dream was creepy. Elfman. Of all the men she could have dreamed about, and there was a freaking lot of them just in the guild, her subconscious had to match her up with that dummy! That big, simple minded dumbass obsessed by manliness, or whatever, who wasn't even her type! Shivering in disgust, Evergreen got up from bed, she noticed that it needed to be washed, and stomped to the bathroom of her small apartment, throwing away her remaining clothing in the laundry basket. She ran the water of the shower just a bit too cold to be comfortable and quickly jumped in the stream to wash herself clean, in more than just the physical way.

The cold had the desired effect, she was too busy fighting the urge to add hot water to think back about her state of need. She would suppress it. After all, it wasn't her first time having this kind of dream, she was an healthy woman but the loner type so it was unavoidable that they happened, from time to time. She perfectly knew how to deal with those and when the itch was too much to bear, she would just go in a random bar and get herself a pawn. With her beauty, it wasn't hard to find a suitable moron to satisfy her. She could easily allow herself to be picky in her selection criteria: for example, he needed to be tall and athletic, with muscles and abs and all that jazz. Not a skinny little emo who wouldn't be able to lift a rock nor a metro-sexual who would wear more makeup that she would, no, someone virile and macho, an embodiment of testosterone, one she could call a real _man_.

The brunette gasped as word 'man' echoed in her head, immediately, images of the dream stroked her with full force, his short white hair, his tanned skin covering his muscles, his strong hands touching her... Pushing a cry that was a mix of a yell and a growl, Evergreen's body jerked in panic, making her turn off the water in a quick movement. She ground her teeth as frustration erupted from her.

She had thought about him again!

And the worst was that she had just aknowledged that he was totally her type.

* * *

After a while, the brunette had finally calmed down since almost busting your knuckles while punching your shower's ceramic wall was apparently a good way to cool off. She dressed up in her usual clothing, arranged her hair and put on her glasses, thinking more rationally about the situation. Since she had quenched the _problem_,for now, she could be more practical in her thoughts. She came up with a theory: the reason why Elfman had been in her dream was obviously because of the events of the previous S-class exam. It was a reasonable explanation, after all, they had been under a lot of stress with the exam itself and the creepy boy and all that. It was just normal that her subconscious would send her stuff about the guy she had partnered with, it was just to unload stress. Simple. Normal.

After slipping her feet in her high heel shoes, Evergreen fixed her reflection in the mirror, her composure making her look more like the queen she was. After a satisfying look over, she smiled at her other self with a dominant smile. It was an isolated incident, she decided. She just needed to ignore it. Like any being that she judged unworthy to be noticed by her, she would just pretend it wasn't there and keep walking, her mind way over the matter. It would go away by itself.

* * *

Plan A was seemingly working well. It had been a couple of days since the 'incident' and already, the displeasure hadn't appeared again. She had taken a couple of normal jobs for her own pleasure and also because she wanted a new purse. The beauty with the stone gaze left the chic store with her new expensive bag, a victorious smile on her face. Life was normal again.

Back home, Evergreen made herself a quick lunch and a cup of tea that she enjoyed but it was barely finished when she started yawning. Exhaustion was invading her body, thanks to the previous days where she would barely sleep between parts of the jobs. She felt too lazy to change into her pyjama and go to bed so she dropped on the couch, still dressed in her day clothes, and quickly fell asleep.

* * *

Waking up with a jolt, Evergreen sat up so quickly on her couch that her glasses almost fell off her nose. A shiver ran down her spine and when she looked down at her sticky crotch, her suspicions were confirmed. She was still breathing heavily and shaking from her dream, which made the woman feel even more frustrated that she had been the first time. That bastard had done it again!

A little voice in her head stated that the white haired man in question had nothing to do with it but she ignored it. She also ignored the fact that if she actually pleasured herself, her libido would calm down. Evergreen was a proud woman, no way in hell she would masturbate if the _manly dumbass_ was the one who had aroused her.

While she washed her pants vigorously, she decided of a new plan. Since pretending it didn't happen obviously failed, it looked like it wasn't that much about stress that she thought, she figured that the problem would be solved if she made sure to _not dream _anymore.

* * *

For the week that followed adoption of Plan B, Evergreen was on a diet of coffee, chocolate and energy drinks. At first, that made her extremely hyper: her heartbeat was always fast and she felt like running everywhere she went. Bixlow and Fried, who teamed with her for a thieves hunting job, were barely able to keep up with her while she just kept telling them to hurry the hell up. They also noticed her twitching eye and her new habit to laugh when there was nothing funny to laugh about. Like watching the wall.

However, nearing the fifth day of this sleepless diet, exhaustion was harder and harder to fight. She was constantly upgrading her dose of caffeine but that was never enough to prevent her from dozing off in unappropriated places or in the middle of a conversation. She was also continuously asked by others if she was sick or sleeping enough but she would just snap at them to mind their own fucking business!

She was fine. Super fine! Even if she looked like the living dead with her pale face and dark bags under her eyes. It didn't matter because she was winning against the dork and her stupid libido**. **She hadNEVER FELT BETTER!

Mirajane found her asleep in the ladies bathroom, that night, still sitting on the seat with her head against the toilet paper dispenser, snoring loudly.

* * *

The caffeine withdrawal effects were awful and made her quite weak. She could barely get up from bed to go to the bathroom without falling asleep again. The good side was that she was just too freaking tired to be horny.

Eventually, she started feeling better. She was recovering an healthy look, she was more and more energic and she could now step by a coffee shop without rushing in. She still had issues with the chocolate but she figured that it wasn't so bad as long as she didn't weighted herself.

On a hot and sunny day, guildies were all gathered around the guild pool. Evergreen was proud to be seen in all her splendor, wearing her new bikini that made heads turn everywhere she went.

Taking place on a deckchair, the brunette was enjoying the sunlight with a martini, watching Juvia using her magic to make waves in the pool, to her friends delight, except Lucy who was strangely being _attacked _by the water... To the right of the pool, two teams were playing volleyball while being quite noisy. There was only Erza as a female player and she was seemingly wiping the floor with the other team.

Evergreen discretely watched the various males playing, all of them shirtless. The only exception was Bixlow who was still wearing his strange hood but she thought that guy had a couple of screws loose. Back on the interesting subject at hand, there wasn't a lot she liked about the guild, beside the name, but she had to admit there was a lot of eye candy, especially guys like Grey Fullbuster, even if he was too much of a pretty boy to be a real interest. There was also that iron dragonslayer guy who had quite the body but he was rarely seen without his shirt on and seriously, he had a serial murderer face, that was quite a turn off in itself.

She was taking a sip of her drink while musing over this last thought when a huge splash occurred and she got really close to be wet. The volleyball players were laughing and calling out to the one who had jumped in the pool, seemingly quite amused by the plunge. A tall man emerged from the water, holding a volley ball in one of his large hand, rising to his full height in a glorious sight of glittering skin. Evergreen raised an eyebrow as she was having a perfect view of the man's well toned body, with huge abs and pectoral muscles that were shinning in the sunlight.

However, when her gaze went to his facial area, she choked on her martini in an unladylike fashion. Of course, he had to have short white hair and of course, his right eye had a scar under it. There was no way that she would have been lucky enough to NOT have Elfman standing in front of her wearing only a speedo.

The man in question never noticed the brunette running away, he was too busy telling his friends that a real man splashed water when he dived.

* * *

Evergreen was back home in no time, too scared of the many emotions she was experiencing. Her cheeks were burning but she refused to admit it was because of the sight of the beast man in a serious state of undress. After all she went through, it was so unfair that only seeing him would make her loose her composure. Why would he have such an influence on her?

The same little voice than before whispered that maybe she had a crush on him. The thought sent her on her hands and knees, depressed for the rest of the day.

Of course, the poor woman couldn't get a break. As expected, all this thinking about romantic feelings and well built body made the need inside her wake up again. She felt it itching at her womanhood in a tormenting manner, laughing at her hurt pride and frustration. But she didn't care anymore. She didn't have a choice. She did not want to resort to this method but she was way too tired of fighting the urge for the past month to argue with her body. It was time for the final plan.

* * *

Armed with her sexiest mini-skirt, her most revealing top and her fishnets, the woman was ready for the worst. She made her way to one of the usual bar where she would get her pawns, walking with the determination of a conqueror. This plan was her ace, her last hope, she vowed to win this battle, at any cost! Shame on her for letting her pride prevent her from doing it earlier, it was a mistake she would never make again.

Evergreen held her head high like the queen she was and pushed the door open, eyeing the crowd with a critical gaze. As usual, it didn't take long before the many males of the place turned their gaze on her, catching their attention. Spotting a man near the pool table who was the type she would usually go for, she was about to do her seductive move when she noticed how his chin was square. The same kind of chin than _his_, add white hair and he was like a double of the one-she-did-not-want-to-think-about.

Turning around, the fairy queen spotted another good specimen near the bar however, he laughed at something the barman said and got eliminated, his voice was too much like _his_.

Evergreen's eye started twitching when she realized that every single one she was aiming at where looking like the one she refused to acknowledge as sexy. The more she was searching for someone not Elfman-ish, the more she thought they all looked like him! Right and left, there was an Elfman waiting, standing like him, talking like him, grinning like him! It was an invasion of Elfmans!

With a scream that would have fitted perfectly in an horror movie, the brunette ran away from the bar, trying to escape being swallowed by the thousand Elfmans.

* * *

At Fairy Tail, it was a peaceful evening. Mirajane was classifying records of last month jobs taken by the guildies, helped by Fried, Erza and Elfman. They were sitting at one of the table, their papers were all in various piles, sorted by dates and types.

They were chatting pleasantly when a furious mage came stomping down the guild hall with blazing eyes, dressed in a scandalous fashion. They didn't notice her until she stopped right in front of the white haired man and swung an expensive purse right in his face with the strength of ten men. The force of the impact sent Elfman's head spinning almost at 180 degree, dazing him like if he had been hit by a bull. Was there bricks in that bag, or what?

The rune mage was too stunned to notice how Evergreen was not wearing enough, Mirajane's eyebrows were gone into her hairline, and Erza's jaw had hit the table. They weren't as speechless as the beast man when he met the furious gaze of the brunette who had just dislocated his neck. She didn't even let him ask her what it was all about, she yelled right in his face with an accusative finger pointing him:

" THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU! YOU AND YOUR FACE AND YOUR HAIR AND YOUR MUSCLES AND YOUR... YOUR... EVERYTHING! I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD!"

She walked away with a mad scream while the remaining group opened their eyes, strangely confused to not have been petrified. They stayed silent for a while, Elfman still rubbing his bruised cheek and neck. He looked at the women with a confused look, at their turn, they looked at Fried who shook his head in a manner that clearly stated he had no idea what happened either. Mirajane blinked then a little smile came on her cute face:

" You know, Elfman, I think Evergreen might like you."

His loud ' EH?' echoed in the guild hall while far away from there, the fairy queen was seriously thinking about throwing herself over a bridge.

* * *

**End notes: thx for the favs on my other stories btw, im glad people like what i write :3**


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